Physical Exam

Dear Stupid Body,

I am so glad I quit smoking for your health and well-being. It's fabulous that you have decided to reward me by producing massive amounts of cholesterol (210) even though I work out and eat healthy. So mad at you right now. Why do I even fucking bother? If I didn't have kids I would fumigate you with cigarette smoke and pickle you with whiskey right now. Fuck You.

Love, K